January 6th, 2014

We didn't actually bake cranberry nut bread yesterday
but this is no longer about what we didn't do. Tonight
after gathering my pain and offering it to someone I
barely know, I writhed a little bit in my own foolishness
and wanted to take everything back. Kelly came over
and we thought and prayed and laughed and cried and
God said "I am your God" and she said "He is the only
one who is safe and good" and safe and good became
larger and better words than I had imagined they could
be and truer too. And there were visions and there was
intimacy and longing and filling and when it was all done
we sealed it with a baptism of oil and milk and honey and
wine. The oil for anointing,  the milk and honey for
purification, and the wine for both the blood and the cup of joy.