March 13th, 2014

My teeth feel swollen and the air around me is running in currents and waves,
as if it is water, but it is only air and as it runs its fingers over me I feel it to my lungs
which are still very apparent. I can feel them and see them, lit up and wired with veins,
as two fleshly lanterns held aloft by two long pale arms to a dark forest rimmed with
evergreens of a green so thick you can smell the paper of the children's book you've
gathered this image from.They pulse too, my lungs, and I don't know if this is even a
thing that is possible, but it's happening. I can feel them moving about within me. And,
for that matter I just received the most vivid image of my colon right to the screen of the
insides of my eyelids. My colon and the inside of my eyelids are the same color. Everything
buzzes with sleepiness and the expectation of new life. Soon I will be licking afterbirth
off me like some animal mother. I am a very still seed breaking into root. I am a very
large cloud moving without vision above a field. I am the concentrated pain collected
from the base of your neck and I manifest in a hangnail. Today I cried three times over
three different things without any warning. That, perhaps above all else, is a sign of healing.