January 9th. 2014


The tub is clean now and so showers are white and lovely
in a way that only clean porcelain can provide. Today I looked
up and noticed that the grapefruit body wash was gone and
in its place a yellow soap that looked like vanilla, lemon, or
honeysuckle. I never actually read the label. As I sat on the floor
of the newly cleaned porcelain shaving my legs, I thought of how
it is to say goodbye to things and what we learn of this from people
we love. Brett and his grapefruit body wash of which he has
written at least two poems, and the way I am sad that he has had
to replace this scent with another. Next year at this time
we three will most likely not be living together. Two years this time
maybe none of us will be in this state, and anything could happen
to anyone tomorrow. I saw my father's face today and it stirred an
emotion that looked like smoke rising from a just-snuffed candle.