January 17, 2014

Now back one way, time knows years. These are the words most
frequently used in this project so far and I find the way they fit
together comforting, like I have been writing secret messages
to myself and slipping them under the door to find later. Tonight
I walked home from school after dark, through the hole in the fence
around the track field to the cobbled sidewalks of clemmings place
out to Sisson. Scattered across the patio of the Half Door, hiding
in the plants and the shadows, I saw all the other girls I have been,
drunk and crying with Chris, drunk and in love on Rich's lap, drunk
and sad with everyone. Each girl draped herself across a lie. Each
girl moved slowly like dust in the sun as I walked by stirring the air.
This is not what it was, I say to them. You will not be here forever,
I say to them. Your feet are stone masons now, He says to me. Where
you walk is a new road. Nothing is as it's been, nor will it ever be again.