May 4th, 2014

 All this happened in the time when the earth was undeniably warming and huge prehistoric
fish washed up on the shore of connecticut. All this happened after your father had gone
off somewhere you couldn't follow, twice; once to a land he described as the greenest in
all the world and then to somewhere you can't even reach by phone. There were huge plants
in the living room, which was more of a grotto, or a terrarium, and the skylight hung over us
hugely but lightly. He wasn't surprised I was homeschooled, it made sense you see, after all
the creativity he had observed in me he said as he moved in a gentle drunken way on the
cushion, breathing deep from his vaporizer. Joe had his hand tucked between my legs, between
the two knees really, as I had them crossed, and the touch was nice, like warm bathwater, and
just as clean and familiar. On the ride home Josh told stories of high school and I laughed
harder than I had in a long time, really laughed with my whole face, until my gut hurt. All this happened on a Saturday night when any one of us could have been somewhere else, but we
gathered together and went there, and while Tom taught Josh how to play piano, I realized
what I wanted out of life, and how close this was to it.