May 12, 2014

When she drove by, Brett perked up like a cat at the window smelling summer for the
first time. My eyes were itchy from pollen and my mouth was dry and hungry for
something more than the food I ate. Sharon drove by after SHE did, and we yelled her
name. Caitlin drove by after that and we called to her as well. Both came and joined
us on the patio. The sun was warm and we were wrapped together in its remaining light.
Later Caitlin and I prayed theatrically over our phones because we so wanted the boys
we liked to text us back. They both did, and Caitlin knew suddenly the power of prayer
in a way that rivaled old testament stories. Joe called and his voice was lost and unsure, somewhere in the back of his throat, and we rushed to meet him in the dark on the street
to hear why he sounded that way. We both hugged him and listened until his smile became
more sure. We walked him home and said goodbye by the bushes. We prayed once more,
for everyone and everything, and the simplicity of it sparkled. On the way home the moon
got caught in branches in the most delightful way and I had to stop and release it at least
three times. This is just where I am right now, in some lovely village at the palm of two
very high ridges. and this is where I will stay.


May 7th, 2014

how we tell our lives through stories over and over,
how we tell our stories through shades that only we
can see. I have often wondered what kind of stories
are told about me, but then I remember Sapir and
Worf and how they believed that if one did not have a
word for blue in ones language he could not see the color
blue, at least not as one, who had the word, could. So,
then, if love meant "control and possession" to one
and "sacrifice and identity" to another, how could the
stories possibly ever line up? I have painted my story in
shadows on the sea, and still my sorrow has followed
me. For a year I braided it into all the songs I knew, and
after that I told it through jokes that no one found funny.
We are all impressionists. Stand back, very far back, to understand.


May 6th, 2014

My energy,
which I
had so
carefully
collected
over the
last few
weeks, all
leaked slowly
out of me
today,
second
by
second.